Sturt Desert Pea-supporting those through deep sadness
Sturt Desert Pea supports those through deep sadness
CASE STUDY: STURT DESERT PEA
Initial consult: 8th September 2025
Mid way check in call at the 2 week mark
Second Consult:6th October 2025
Final consult: 27th October 2025
CLIENT INFORMATION
Full Name: Linda (female)
Age: 55 years old
REASON FOR CONSULTATION:
Linda presented seeking support for what she described as "a grief I can't seem to
move through." Her adult son, James, had died by suicide 18 months prior at age
28, and she reported feeling "stuck in the same place I was the day he died." She
described the grief as "a physical weight in my chest that won't move" and said
she felt "frozen" emotionally, unable to cry despite wanting to, unable to feel joy,
unable to engage with life.
GENERAL CLIENT INFORMATION:
Linda is married (31 years) to Robert, a retired electrician. They had two children:
James (deceased) and a daughter, Emma (32), who lives nearby with her husband
and two young children (Linda's grandchildren, ages 4 and 2). Linda worked as a
librarian for 27 years but had taken early retirement six months before our
consultation, unable to continue working while carrying her grief.
Linda described her marriage as "solid but struggling under this weight." She and
Robert were grieving differently; he had thrown himself into physical projects
(building things, renovating their home), while she felt paralyzed. She worried
they were "drifting apart" in their grief and didn't know how to reach each other.
MEDICAL HISTORY & SYPTOMS:
● Persistent, unmoving grief: Described as "stuck" in her chest and throat
● Inability to cry: Despite intense sadness, tears wouldn't come
● Emotional numbness: Described as feeling "dead inside" or "going through
the motions."
● Physical symptoms: Chest tightness, difficulty breathing deeply, throat
constriction
● Insomnia: Difficulty falling asleep, waking at 3 AM daily, unable to return to
sleep
● Loss of appetite: Had lost 8 Kg since her son's death
● Anhedonia: Unable to feel pleasure or joy, even with her grandchildren
● Social withdrawal: Avoiding friends, family gatherings, and church
community
● Post-menopause: Final period at age 51, now 4 years post-menopausal
● No current medications; the physician had offered antidepressants, but
Linda declined, saying, "I don't want not to feel it, I want to be able to feel it
and move through it."
● No history of depression or anxiety before her son's death
● History of generally good physical health
Significant Assessment Findings:
During our initial consultation, Linda sat very still, almost rigid. She spoke in a flat,
quiet voice with little emotional inflection. Her hands were clasped tightly in her
lap throughout our session, and she maintained minimal eye contact.
When describing her son's death, she spoke factually, as though reporting news
about a stranger. There was a dissociative quality to her speech; she was present
physically but emotionally absent, as though some part of her had left the room
or left her body.
Linda shared that in the immediate aftermath of James's death, she had been
able to cry and express her grief. But around three months after his death,
"something shut down." The tears stopped. The emotional expression stopped.
She described feeling as though her grief had "turned to stone inside me" and she
couldn't access it anymore, even though she knew it was there.
She carried immense guilt about her son's death. In the weeks before he died, he
had called her several times, expressing distress, and she had encouraged him to
"be strong" and "push through," not recognizing the severity of his crisis. She
repeatedly said, "I should have known. I should have saved him. I was his mother."
Linda also shared that she couldn't look at photos of her son or enter his old
bedroom (which they had left exactly as it was). She avoided anything that might
trigger an emotional response because she was terrified that if she started crying,
she would "never stop" or "fall apart completely."
When I asked about her relationship with her grandchildren, Linda's face
crumpled slightly before going flat again. She said she felt "numb even with
them" and was consumed with fear that something terrible would happen to
them too. She couldn't relax into joy with them because she was convinced that
loving them would lead to more loss.
Assessment: Linda was experiencing complicated grief with dissociative features.
Her nervous system had shut down emotional processing as a protective
mechanism against overwhelming pain. The grief was trapped in her body,
literally stuck in her chest and throat, because her system was too overwhelmed
to allow it to move. She needed gentle, gradual support to access and release the
frozen grief safely.
ESSENCE SELECTION & RATIONALE
Essence Chosen: Sturt Desert Pea (single essence)
Reasoning for Selection:
I chose Sturt Desert Pea for Linda because this essence specifically addresses
deep emotional pain, grief, sadness, and trauma that has become frozen or stuck
in the body. It is the primary essence for profound sorrow that won't move,
particularly grief related to loss and death.
Sturt Desert Pea works at the heart chakra and solar plexus, helping to gently
soften and release emotional pain that has become lodged in the body. Linda's
description of grief as "a physical weight in my chest that won't move," and her
chest tightness and throat constriction all pointed to exactly this pattern of sorrow
trapped in the body because it was too overwhelming to feel.
The essence is particularly indicated when someone describes wanting to cry but
being unable to, or when grief has "turned to stone." This represents a nervous
system shutdown triggered by overwhelming emotion. The body literally freezes
in grief because experiencing it entirely feels like it would destroy the person.
Sturt Desert Pea provides gentle, gradual support for thawing and releasing this
frozen grief.
Linda's guilt about her son's death was also a key indicator for Sturt Desert Pea.
This essence specifically supports the release of guilt and self-blame related to
loss, helping people forgive themselves for perceived failures or mistakes.
Additionally, Sturt Desert Pea addresses the fear of being overwhelmed by
emotion. Linda's terror that if she started crying, she would "never stop" is classic
for those who need this essence. It helps create a sense of safety around
emotional release, allowing grief to move in waves rather than in a destructive
flood.
The essence is named for the Sturt Desert Pea flower, which has a distinctive
black "eye" at its center surrounded by brilliant red petals. This visual
representation mirrors the medicine of the essence; it helps us look directly into
the "dark eye" of our deepest pain while being held in the vibrant life force (the
red petals) that surrounds it. We can face our grief without being consumed by it.
I chose to work with Sturt Desert Pea as a single essence because Linda's grief
was so profound and her system so sensitized that I wanted the most gentle,
focused support possible. Adding other essences might have been too complex
for her fragile nervous system to process.
It was essential to prepare Linda for the fact that this essence might initially
increase emotional expression, and the grief needed to move. That movement
might involve tears, anger, or other strong emotions. I wanted her to understand
that this wasn't the essence making things worse, but instead supporting the
natural healing process her body had been trying to complete.
DOSAGE PLAN
Preparation Method: Stock bottle (30ml)
● 30ml amber dropper bottle, filled 1/3 with brandy as preservative
● 7 drops of Sturt Desert Pea essence added
● Filled the remaining space with spring water
● Labeled with essence name, date created, and dosage instructions
Dosage Instructions Provided to Linda:
● Take 7 drops directly under tongue, twice daily (morning and evening)
● If strong emotions arise, this is appropriate, and part of the healing process,
allow them without judgment
● Continue consistently for a minimum of 4 weeks
● Store the bottle away from electromagnetic devices
● Keep in a cool, dark place
Duration: Initial 4-week period with follow-up consultation scheduled with a mid
way call to check in
Supportive Guidance:
I provided Linda with several supporting practices:
● Permission and encouragement to cry when tears came, rather than
suppressing them
● Suggestion to keep tissues nearby and create safe spaces for emotional
release (her bedroom, in her car, in nature)
● Recommendation to place one hand on her heart and one on her solar
plexus when taking her drops, acknowledging the grief held there
● Gentle suggestion to write letters to her son (not to send, but as a way to
express what was trapped inside)
● Recommendation to tell her husband, Rober,t that she was working with
flower essences and might be more emotionally expressive in the coming
weeks, so he could support rather than be surprised by it
I also normalized the fear of being overwhelmed by grief and explained that the
essence would help the grief move in manageable waves, not all at once.
FOLLOW-UP CONSULTATION #1 (Week 4)
Date: 4 weeks after initial consultation
Client Report/Reactions:
Linda arrived for this consultation visibly different; her face had more color, and
while she looked tired, she also looked more alive. She began crying before she
even sat down, apologizing through her tears.
She reported that the first week on Sturt Desert Pea had been "the hardest week
of my life since James died." On day three, while taking her evening drops, she
had begun to cry and couldn't stop for over an hour. She described it as "eighteen
months of frozen tears finally melting."
The crying had continued throughout the first week, sometimes triggered by
memories of her son, sometimes arising spontaneously without clear trigger. She
described it as simultaneously devastating and relieving. "It hurt so much, but it
also felt like I could finally breathe again."
Robert had been initially alarmed by her tears but, after she explained about the
essence work, had become supportive, holding her when she cried and creating
space for her grief rather than trying to fix it.
Around day 10, Linda had spontaneously entered James's room for the first time
since his death. She sat on his bed and allowed herself to remember him, to feel
the full weight of his absence, to cry without trying to stop herself. She described
this as "the beginning of being able to say goodbye."
Measurable Changes:
● Emotional expression: Able to cry freely and regularly; tears came easily
now.
● Chest tightness: Significantly reduced; could breathe more deeply
● Throat constriction: Improved; felt less "choked."
● Sleep: Better still, waking at 3 AM but able to cry and then return to sleep
● Appetite: Slight improvement; had gained 1.5 kg
● Energy: Paradoxically better despite the emotional intensity of processing
grief
● Social engagement: Still withdrawn but less rigid about it
Unexpected Changes: Linda had begun talking about James sharing memories,
telling stories, speaking his name aloud. She described this as "bringing him back
into our life rather than trying to erase him." She and Robert had begun looking at
photos together and crying together, which had brought them closer after
months of isolated grieving.
She had also spontaneously apologized to her grandchildren for being
emotionally absent and had cried with her daughter Emma, sharing her guilt
about James's death. Emma had reassured her that James's death wasn't her
fault, which Linda said she "couldn't quite believe yet, but maybe someday I will."
Practitioner Observations:
The transformation in Linda's emotional capacity was profound. Where she had
been frozen and dissociated, she was now emotionally present and able to access
and express her grief. This is precisely what Sturt Desert Pea supports the thawing
and movement of frozen sorrow.
Her initial fear that she would "never stop" crying if she started had not
materialized. Instead, the grief moved in waves, with intense periods of crying
followed by periods of calm. This is healthy grief processing, and the essence was
providing the safety and support for it to unfold naturally.
The fact that she could enter her son's room and allow herself to remember him
indicated that her nervous system was no longer in complete shutdown around
the grief. She could now hold the pain without dissociating from it.
Her spontaneous reconnection with her family (Robert, Emma, grandchildren)
suggested that as the frozen grief thawed, her capacity for connection and
presence was returning. Grief had isolated her; its movement was bringing her
back into relationship.
The physical symptom improvements (chest tightness, throat constriction,
breathing) were natural outcomes of emotional release. The grief had been quite
literally stuck in her body, and as it moved, her physical symptoms resolved.
Linda's courage moved me. Frozen grief thawing is painful work, and she was
allowing herself to feel the full depth of her loss rather than continuing to shut
down. This required immense bravery.
Recommendations for Continuation:
I recommended Linda continue with Sturt Desert Pea for another 3-4 weeks, as
grief work requires time, and the essence was clearly supporting necessary
healing. I also normalized that the grief wouldn't "finish" in 7 weeks this was a
profound loss that she would carry for life, but the essence was helping her learn
to be with it rather than shut down around it.
I suggested she continue the practices that were naturally arising (talking about
James, looking at photos, crying when tears came) and trusted her own instincts
about what she needed.
Dosage: Continue as established (7 drops twice daily)
FOLLOW-UP CONSULTATION #2 (Week 7)
Date: 7 weeks after initial consultation (3 weeks after first follow-up)
Client Report/Reactions:
Linda arrived for this consultation with a gentle strength I hadn't seen before. She
was still grieving, that was clear, but she was no longer frozen in her grief. She was
moving with it.
She reported that the intensity of crying had subsided somewhat after week 5,
not because the grief had gone away but because the backlog of frozen tears had
been released. She still cried regularly, almost daily, but described it as "softer
now, like rain rather than a flood."
Linda shared that she had begun a ritual of writing morning letters to James,
telling him about her day, sharing her grief, expressing her love, and her guilt. She
said this practice helped her feel connected to him in a new way, not trying to
hold onto who he was, but finding a new relationship with his memory.
She had also begun volunteering with a suicide prevention organization,
something she said felt like "turning my grief into something that might help
another mother not lose her son." She was clear that this wasn't about "getting
over" James's death but about finding meaning within it.
Measurable Changes:
● Emotional expression: Appropriately emotional; able to feel and express
grief without shutdown
● Guilt: Still present but softer; beginning to practice self-forgiveness
● Physical symptoms: Chest tightness resolved; breathing fully and deeply;
throat open
● Sleep: Improved sleeping through most nights, occasional 3 AM waking,
but could return to sleep
● Appetite: Returned to normal; had gained back 4 of the 8 kg lost
● Joy capacity: Beginning to feel moments of joy again, particularly with
grandchildren
● Social engagement: Slowly reconnecting had lunch with a friend for the
first time in over a year
Additional Changes:
Linda had made several significant shifts:
● Cleaned out some of James's belongings (keeping meaningful items,
donating the rest) and converted his room into a meditation/remembering
space with photos and candles
● Begun therapy with a grief counselor who specializes in loss by suicide
● Started practicing gentle yoga to help release grief held in her body
● Returned to her church community and found support in her faith
● Had vulnerable conversations with Robert about their different grieving
styles and was learning to honor both paths
● Was considering returning to work part-time, feeling ready to engage with
life again
She also reported that she could now be present with her grandchildren without
constant fear of losing them. The anxiety hadn't completely disappeared, but it
was manageable rather than paralyzing.
Practitioner Observations:
Linda's transformation over 7 weeks was remarkable. She had moved from frozen,
dissociated grief to active, flowing grief from being trapped in sorrow to being
able to move through it.
Sturt Desert Pea had supported the precise healing she needed: the gentle
thawing and release of deep emotional pain that had been too overwhelming for
her nervous system to process immediately after her son's death. The essence had
created enough safety for her to feel the full depth of her loss without being
destroyed by it.
Linda's spontaneous movement toward meaning-making (suicide prevention
volunteering), ritual (morning letters), and community (grief counseling, church)
suggested that as the frozen grief melted, her natural healing instincts were
activating. These are all healthy grief responses that had been inaccessible when
she was shut down.
The fact that she could now feel moments of joy, particularly with her
grandchildren, was profoundly significant. Complicated grief often creates a
pattern where any positive feeling feels like a betrayal of the deceased. Linda was
learning that she could hold both her love for James and her joy with her
grandchildren; they didn't cancel each other out.
Her physical transformation was also notable. The weight she had regained, the
restoration of color to her face, and the ability to breathe fully all indicated that her
body was no longer holding grief in frozen suspension.
The guilt she carried about her son's death had softened, though not
disappeared. Sturt Desert Pea supports the release of guilt, but profound losses
often involve grief work that extends beyond essence therapy. The fact that Linda
was now in grief counseling suggested she understood this and was committed
to continued healing.
Final Recommendations:
I recommended that Linda complete this bottle of Sturt Desert Pea
(approximately one more week remaining) and then assess whether she wanted
to continue for another cycle or take a break to integrate.
I suggested that she might benefit from working with Angelsword in the future to
support spiritual discernment and meaning-making around her son's death, or
Boab to address any ancestral grief patterns. Still, for now, the priority was
integrating the profound grief work Sturt Desert Pea had facilitated.
I affirmed that grief doesn't have a timeline and that she would carry the loss of
her son for the rest of her life, but now she was carrying it consciously, with
movement and breath and presence, rather than frozen and shut down.
Client's Final Reflection (in her words):
"When I came to you, I was frozen solid with grief. I couldn't cry, couldn't feel,
couldn't imagine ever feeling anything but this terrible weight again. Sturt Desert
Pea didn't take away my grief. I'm still grieving, I'll always be grieving, but it helped
me be able to feel it and move with it instead of being buried alive by it. I can
breathe again. I can cry. I can talk about my son. I can feel love for my
grandchildren without being paralyzed by fear. The grief is still here, but I'm not
stuck in it anymore. It moves through me now, like waves, and I can ride those
waves instead of drowning in them."
Practitioner's Final Assessment:
This case powerfully demonstrates Sturt Desert Pea's capacity to support the
healing of deep emotional pain and frozen grief. Linda's presenting symptoms,
including inability to cry despite intense sadness, chest tightness, and emotional
numbness, all pointed to grief that had been frozen in the body as a protective
mechanism against overwhelming loss.
The essence provided gentle, gradual support for the thawing and release of this
frozen sorrow. The first week brought intense emotional release as 18 months of
suppressed tears finally moved. Subsequent weeks brought continued processing
with decreasing intensity as the backlog cleared.
This case illustrates an important principle: Sometimes symptoms that appear
pathological (inability to cry, emotional shutdown) are actually protective
mechanisms. Linda's nervous system had frozen her grief because feeling it fully
in the immediate aftermath of her son's death would have been too destabilizing.
Once she had distance from the initial trauma and essence support for safe
processing, her body could finally complete the grief response it had been
protecting her from.
Sturt Desert Pea didn't eliminate Linda's grief from the loss of a child, which is
profound and lifelong. Instead, it helped transform frozen, stuck grief into flowing,
living grief. The difference is crucial: stuck grief keeps us trapped in the past,
unable to engage with present life. Flowing grief allows us to carry our losses with
us while still moving forward.
The essence also supported the release of guilt and self-blame, which are
common complications in grief from suicide. Linda's gradual movement toward
self-forgiveness, while not complete, represented significant healing.
This case also demonstrates the importance of allowing adequate time for
essence work, particularly with profound grief. Seven weeks were enough time for
a significant transformation, but Linda's healing journey would extend far beyond
this initial essence work. The Sturt Desert Pea had initiated the thaw; continued
therapy, ritual, community, and time would support the ongoing integration of
her loss.
Sturt Desert Pea is essential medicine for anyone carrying deep sadness,
traumatic grief, or emotional pain that has become frozen in the body. In a culture
that often wants to rush grief or medicate it away, this essence honors the
necessity of feeling our losses fully while providing gentle support for safe
emotional release.